Estimated reading time: 14–16 minutes

Introduction: When Goals Stop Working

Modern life is saturated with goals. We set them for our careers, our bodies, our relationships, and even our happiness. Goal-setting frameworks dominate self-help books, productivity apps, and organizational culture. Achieve this. Reach that. Optimize everything.

And yet, many people report a quiet dissatisfaction even after reaching their goals.

They get the promotion, finish the degree, lose the weight, or hit the milestone—only to feel strangely empty soon after. Motivation fades. Meaning evaporates. The question “Is this all?” begins to surface.

This experience is not a personal failure. It is a structural one.

Goals, while useful, are not designed to sustain meaning. Values are.

In this article, we explore why values-based living offers a more stable and psychologically nourishing source of meaning than outcome-driven goal pursuit—and how shifting your orientation from what you want to achieve to how you want to live can fundamentally change your sense of purpose.

What You Will Learn

• Why goals often fail to deliver lasting meaning

• The psychological difference between goals and values

• How values-based living supports wellbeing and resilience

• The hidden costs of outcome obsession

• How to identify and clarify your core values

• Practical ways to live meaningfully without chasing results

Goals: Useful, but Fragile Sources of Meaning

Goals are future-oriented targets. They are specific, measurable, and finite. This makes them powerful tools for motivation and performance—but weak foundations for meaning.

From a psychological perspective, goals have three inherent limitations:

1. Goals Are Conditional

Goals promise fulfillment after something happens.
“I’ll feel satisfied when I get there.”

This creates a meaning structure that is always postponed. Life becomes a waiting room.

Once the goal is reached, meaning must be replaced with another target—or it collapses.

2. Goals Are Vulnerable to Circumstances

External factors—economic shifts, health issues, organizational decisions—can derail even the most well-planned goals.

When meaning is tied exclusively to outcomes, setbacks don’t just disappoint us; they destabilize our identity and sense of worth.

3. Goals Encourage Comparison

Because goals are often socially visible and quantifiable, they invite comparison. Achievement becomes a relative game.

This undermines intrinsic motivation and replaces meaning with pressure, anxiety, and self-judgment.

Research in self-determination theory consistently shows that when goals are externally driven—focused on status, image, or validation—they are associated with lower wellbeing and higher distress (Ryan & Deci, 2000).

Values: A Different Psychological System

Values operate on an entirely different level.

Unlike goals, values are not destinations. They are directions.

A value is a chosen way of being—a quality of action that can be expressed repeatedly, in many contexts, over a lifetime.

Examples include:

• Curiosity

• Integrity

• Compassion

• Growth

• Contribution

• Presence

You cannot complete honesty or finish compassion. You can only practice them.

This distinction matters deeply for meaning.

Values-Based Living and Meaning

Meaning, from a psychological standpoint, is not about success—it is about coherence.

According to research on meaning in life, three components consistently emerge:

• Purpose: feeling oriented toward what matters

• Significance: feeling that one’s life has value

• Coherence: feeling that life makes sense (Martela & Steger, 2016)

Values-based living supports all three.

Purpose Without Pressure

Values provide direction without demanding a specific outcome.
You can live with purpose today, regardless of circumstances.

A person who values contribution can express it through mentoring, caregiving, collaboration, or kindness—whether or not external recognition follows.

Significance Without Achievement

When values guide behavior, worth is derived from how you live, not what you achieve.

This shifts self-esteem from performance-based to integrity-based—a far more stable foundation.

Coherence in Daily Life

Values integrate choices across roles and situations. They help people feel internally aligned, even during difficulty or uncertainty.

This alignment is a key predictor of psychological wellbeing.

Why Outcome-Chasing Undermines Meaning

Modern culture subtly teaches that meaning must be earned through results.

This belief has consequences.

Emotional Volatility

When meaning depends on outcomes, emotional life becomes unstable. Success brings temporary highs; failure triggers disproportionate despair.

Studies on hedonic adaptation show that people quickly return to baseline levels of happiness after achieving major goals (Brickman & Campbell, 1971). Meaning evaporates faster than expected.

Burnout and Exhaustion

Outcome obsession prioritizes productivity over vitality. People push themselves past sustainable limits, often in pursuit of goals they no longer deeply endorse.

Burnout is not merely about workload—it is often about value misalignment.

Loss of Agency

Ironically, an intense focus on outcomes can reduce the sense of control. Many outcomes are uncertain or influenced by external forces.

Values, by contrast, remain within one’s control.

The Science Supporting Values-Based Living

Several psychological frameworks converge on the importance of values:

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT emphasizes values as central to psychological flexibility and meaning. Values guide committed action, even in the presence of discomfort or uncertainty (Hayes et al., 2012).

Research shows that values-based action is associated with:

• Lower depression and anxiety

• Greater life satisfaction

• Increased resilience

Self-Determination Theory

When behavior aligns with intrinsic values—autonomy, competence, and relatedness—motivation becomes more sustainable and wellbeing increases (Ryan & Deci, 2017).

Goals aligned with values enhance wellbeing; goals pursued for external validation undermine it.

Meaning-Centered Psychology

Meaning is not something discovered at the end of achievement—it is constructed through engagement with what matters (Frankl, 1959).

Values provide the scaffolding for that construction.

Goals Reframed: Servants, Not Masters

This article is not an argument against goals.

Goals can be useful—when they serve values rather than replace them.

The problem arises when goals become the primary source of meaning.

A healthier hierarchy looks like this:

Values → Actions → Goals → Outcomes

In this model:

• Values define what matters

• Actions express those values

• Goals support consistent action

• Outcomes are informative, not identity-defining

This inversion changes everything.

Identifying Your Core Values

Values are not what you think you should care about. They are what you choose to stand for.

Here are evidence-informed prompts to help clarify them:

1. Look for Energy, Not Approval

Which activities leave you feeling more alive—even if they are effortful?

Vitality is a strong indicator of value alignment.

2. Examine Moments of Pride

Recall times you felt proud—not because of praise, but because you respected your own behavior.

What quality were you expressing?

3. Notice Repeated Frustrations

Persistent frustration often signals blocked values. Anger about injustice may point to fairness; loneliness may point to connection.

4. Use Values Language

Values are verbs or adverbs, not nouns.
Not “success,” but “growth.”
Not “help,” but “contribution.”

Living Values Without Waiting for Results

Values-based living is practiced in small, repeatable ways.

Examples:

• Valuing curiosity by asking thoughtful questions

• Valuing integrity by acting consistently with principles under pressure

• Valuing connection by listening fully, even briefly

• Valuing growth by engaging with challenge rather than avoiding it

None of these require external validation to be meaningful.

Meaning becomes available now—not later.

When Goals Fail, Values Remain

One of the most powerful aspects of values-based living is its resilience.

When goals fail—and many will—values still offer direction.

A person who values learning can find meaning in setbacks.
A person who values compassion can find purpose in hardship.

This does not eliminate pain, but it prevents despair.

As Viktor Frankl observed, meaning is not dependent on success—it is dependent on stance (Frankl, 1959).

Building a Meaning System That Endures

A life organized around values is not necessarily easier—but it is steadier.

It replaces fragile motivation with grounded commitment.
It replaces comparison with coherence.
It replaces waiting with living.

Goals may still matter—but they no longer define your worth or your meaning.

Meaning becomes something you practice, not something you achieve.

Final Reflection

If goals disappeared tomorrow, what would still matter in how you live?

That answer points toward your values—and toward a more sustainable form of meaning.

References

• Brickman, P., & Campbell, D. T. (1971). Hedonic relativism and planning the good society. Academic Press.

• Frankl, V. E. (1959). Man’s Search for Meaning. Beacon Press.

• Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2012). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: The Process and Practice of Mindful Change. Guilford Press.

• Martela, F., & Steger, M. F. (2016). The three meanings of meaning in life. Journal of Positive Psychology, 11(5), 531–545.

• Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Intrinsic and extrinsic motivations. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68–78.

• Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2017). Self-Determination Theory: Basic Psychological Needs in Motivation, Development, and Wellness. Guilford Press.