Estimated reading time: 10–12 minutes

What You Will Learn

• The core definition of trust according to Charles Feltman

• The four key distinctions of trust: sincerity, reliability, competence, and care

• Why trust breaks down in modern relationships, workplaces, and societies

• How to rebuild trust consciously through behavior, communication, and empathy

• Practical strategies to cultivate a culture of trust in teams and organizations

Introduction: Why Trust Feels Fragile Today

We live in a time when trust — the invisible thread that holds our personal, professional, and societal relationships together — feels increasingly frayed. From misinformation and polarized politics to corporate scandals and personal betrayals, our collective trust reservoir seems depleted.

Yet, as leadership coach Charles Feltman reminds us in The Thin Book of Trust: An Essential Primer for Building Trust at Work (2018), trust is both simple and profound. It’s not a mysterious quality that some people naturally possess and others don’t — it’s a skill, a choice, and a practice.

Feltman writes that trust “is choosing to risk making something you value vulnerable to another person’s actions.” In just one sentence, he captures the emotional depth and cognitive courage required to build genuine trust — a choice that involves vulnerability, intention, and mutual respect.

The Essence of Trust: Vulnerability and Choice

Trust always involves risk. When you trust someone, you make yourself vulnerable. You reveal information, delegate responsibility, or open your heart — believing that the other person will act in a way that protects rather than exploits your vulnerability.

In that sense, trust is not blind faith. It’s an informed decision based on observation, experience, and communication. As Feltman emphasizes, trust is contextual: you may trust a colleague to meet a deadline but not to keep a secret, or you may trust a partner to be loyal emotionally but not financially responsible.

This nuance is crucial because it shifts the conversation from “Do I trust you or not?” to “In what ways do I trust you, and where are my doubts?” Such distinctions make rebuilding trust possible even after it’s been damaged.

The Four Dimensions of Trust

Feltman identifies four key assessments that people make — often unconsciously — when deciding whether to trust someone. These four dimensions form the foundation of what he calls “trustworthiness.”

1. Sincerity: Do You Mean What You Say?

Sincerity refers to honesty, authenticity, and integrity. We trust people who say what they mean and mean what they say. When someone’s words align with their inner motives, we feel safe to rely on them.

Lack of sincerity — even subtle manipulation, half-truths, or hidden agendas — quickly erodes trust. In leadership, for example, employees can sense when messages are politically polished rather than authentically spoken.

Practice sincerity by:

• Speaking truthfully even when it’s uncomfortable

• Owning mistakes without defensiveness

• Aligning your words, tone, and actions

“Trust begins with authenticity — when others sense that you are not performing but showing up as yourself.”
— Charles Feltman, The Thin Book of Trust

2. Reliability: Do You Do What You Say You Will Do?

Reliability is the backbone of credibility. It’s about keeping promises, honoring deadlines, and following through on commitments.

We trust people who are consistent. Reliability doesn’t require perfection — it requires predictability. When you can’t deliver as promised, communicating early and clearly preserves reliability even in failure.

Practice reliability by:

• Doing what you say you’ll do — no matter how small the task

• Avoiding overpromising or unrealistic commitments

• Communicating changes transparently and promptly

In teams, reliability creates psychological safety. When members know they can count on one another, collaboration flows more freely and stress levels drop.

3. Competence: Can You Do What You Say You Can Do?

Competence is about skills, knowledge, and capacity. We trust others when we believe they are capable of handling the responsibilities they’ve taken on.

Importantly, competence isn’t static — it evolves with experience and feedback. Leaders who model learning in public — acknowledging what they don’t know and seeking growth — strengthen trust rather than weaken it.

Practice competence by:

• Maintaining professional expertise through learning and reflection

• Being honest about your limits and seeking help when needed

• Recognizing and appreciating others’ skills

When competence and humility intersect, trust deepens because people sense both confidence and openness.

4. Care: Do You Have My Best Interest at Heart?

Perhaps the most emotional dimension, care is the sense that you are valued as a human being, not just for your utility or output.

We trust those who demonstrate empathy, compassion, and goodwill — who make us feel seen and safe. Feltman emphasizes that care does not mean constant agreement; it means acting with respect and genuine concern for others’ well-being.

Practice care by:

• Listening with empathy and withholding judgment

• Offering support without expecting reciprocity

• Balancing honesty with kindness

When care is absent, even competence and reliability feel transactional. When care is present, even mistakes can be forgiven.

How Trust Erodes: The Micro-Moments That Matter

Trust rarely collapses overnight. It weakens through small breaches — missed commitments, broken confidences, unacknowledged contributions, or emotional neglect.

Feltman describes this process as the trust deterioration cycle: once doubt sets in, people start interpreting ambiguous actions through a negative lens. A delayed email becomes disrespect, a cautious comment becomes disloyalty.

The antidote is awareness and repair. By noticing when trust is slipping and addressing it openly, relationships can heal before the damage becomes permanent.

“Rebuilding trust begins with small, consistent actions that communicate reliability and care.”
— Charles Feltman

Rebuilding Trust: From Apology to Action

When trust has been broken, words alone aren’t enough. Rebuilding requires behavioral consistency over time. Feltman proposes a simple but powerful process:

1. Acknowledge the breach. Take full responsibility without excuses or blame.

2. Clarify the impact. Ask how your actions affected the other person emotionally or practically.

3. Make a new commitment. State what you will do differently going forward.

4. Follow through. Rebuilding trust is less about apology and more about reliability in the aftermath.

In organizational settings, this process can be scaled to teams. When a company fails its employees’ trust — for instance, through sudden layoffs or opaque decisions — transparent communication, empathy, and visible corrective action can slowly restore confidence.

The Neuroscience of Trust: Why It Matters More Than Ever

Modern research supports Feltman’s framework. Neuroscientist Paul Zak (2017) found that high-trust workplaces experience greater collaboration, higher productivity, and stronger loyalty. Oxytocin — often called the “trust hormone” — is released when people feel safe and valued, promoting cooperation and emotional resilience.

Conversely, low-trust environments trigger the brain’s threat response, elevating cortisol and narrowing attention. This makes people defensive, less creative, and more likely to disengage.

Trust, then, isn’t just moral — it’s biological. It affects how our bodies regulate stress and how our minds process risk.

Building a Culture of Trust in Teams

At the organizational level, leaders play a critical role in modeling the four dimensions of trust. Here are Feltman-inspired strategies that help cultivate a trust-rich culture:

1. Model Vulnerability

Leaders who admit mistakes or uncertainties signal psychological safety. This encourages open dialogue and shared problem-solving rather than fear-based silence.

2. Foster Transparency

Regularly share context behind decisions. People trust what they understand, even if they disagree.

3. Encourage Accountability

Hold everyone — including leadership — to the same standards of reliability. Accountability reinforces fairness, which strengthens care and respect.

4. Recognize and Repair

When trust is breached, address it early and directly. Create channels for feedback and apology without punishment.

5. Celebrate Trustworthy Behaviors

Acknowledge sincerity, reliability, competence, and care publicly. What gets recognized gets repeated.

These practices align with research from Amy Edmondson (2019) on psychological safety, which shows that teams who trust each other are more innovative, resilient, and successful in complex environments.

Trust and Self-Trust: The Inner Foundation

Before extending trust outward, we must also examine self-trust — our belief in our own integrity, reliability, competence, and care.

When we repeatedly break promises to ourselves — procrastinate, neglect health, suppress truth — our self-trust erodes. This makes it harder to trust others, because external distrust often mirrors internal insecurity.

To rebuild self-trust:

• Keep small promises to yourself daily

• Speak to yourself with the same compassion you offer others

• Honor your boundaries as sacred commitments

As Brené Brown (2017) notes, “We can’t ask people to give us something we do not believe we are worthy of receiving.”

Trust in a Distrusting World: Relevance Beyond the Workplace

Feltman’s insights extend far beyond organizational life. In an era defined by algorithmic echo chambers and digital anonymity, interpersonal trust has become a social currency.

Whether in families, friendships, communities, or online networks, trust determines how societies function. Without it, cooperation collapses into suspicion.

To counter this trend, we need to practice trust intentionally — starting in small circles:

• Sharing honest feedback instead of silent judgment

• Choosing transparency over gossip

• Listening to understand rather than to win

These everyday acts form the architecture of a more trusting world — one conversation, one promise, one relationship at a time.

Practical Exercises to Strengthen Trust

Inspired by Feltman’s framework, here are a few reflective and behavioral practices:

1. The Trust Audit

Write down three people you deeply trust and three you don’t. For each, rate them on the four dimensions (sincerity, reliability, competence, care). Notice patterns — where trust thrives and where it falters.

2. The Repair Conversation

Think of a relationship where trust has weakened. Prepare a short dialogue starting with:

“I sense that something in our trust may have been affected. I want to understand your perspective and see how we can repair it.”

Approaching with curiosity rather than defense opens space for healing.

3. The Daily Integrity Check

Each evening, ask:

• Did I do what I said I would do today?

• Was I honest even when it was uncomfortable?

• Did I treat others with care and respect?

Small self-assessments reinforce trustworthiness as a habit, not a reaction.

Conclusion: Trust as the Core of Flourishing

The Thin Book of Trust may be “thin” in size, but its wisdom runs deep. In a world saturated with cynicism and digital distance, Charles Feltman reminds us that trust is still the beating heart of human connection.

It is the foundation of cooperation, leadership, and love. It cannot be demanded or delegated; it must be earned and renewed daily through sincerity, reliability, competence, and care.

If we want to rebuild trust in a distrusting world, we must begin — as Feltman suggests — with the courage to make something we value vulnerable to another person’s actions. That vulnerability, lived consistently, is how trust grows stronger than fear.

References

• Feltman, C. (2018). The Thin Book of Trust: An Essential Primer for Building Trust at Work (2nd ed.). Thin Book Publishing.

• Brown, B. (2017). Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone. Random House.

• Zak, P. (2017). The Neuroscience of Trust. Harvard Business Review, January 2017.

• Edmondson, A. (2019). The Fearless Organization: Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation, and Growth. Wiley.

• Covey, S. M. R. (2006). The Speed of Trust: The One Thing That Changes Everything. Free Press.

• Cuddy, A. (2015). Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges. Little, Brown and Company.